Christmas is the time of
giving. Not just empty gestures and socially
correct presents, which delight the giver in her
or his meaningless social compliance but do
nothing for the recipient. No, Jesus hated
hypocrisy (see Matthew 23 for example), and so do
If you are called on to choose between giving per
formally correct protocols and giving so as to
maximize the value to the recipient, choose the
recipient. Otherwise you are not really giving;
you are participating in a ceremony to benefit
only yourself. Celebrate Jesus at Christmastime;
do not bow down to and worship any protocol that
leaves anyone ignored.
Enough preaching. Here's my example:
Consider the unwanted woman, unwanted because she
is not up to prevailing physical standards,
perhaps because of disfiguring surgery and perhaps
from disability. Prevailing mental-health
counseling provides compassion and validation.
They're good, but I want better for them.
In 1995, shortly after my first marriage broke up,
I suffered a spinal-cord injury that left my upper
limbs partially paralyzed (temporarily, but I
didn't know that then), and wrote this monograph
as a personal therapeutic exercise to work off my
extreme distress. (I still have PTSD.) But a
residency in PM&R not only gave me no reason
to revise it, but also ignored the obvious problem
completely. More recently, I learned that my
approach is actually valid and helpful.
No other attempt at helping the physically
nonstandard woman is known to me. My attempt to
solve the problem may someday be superseded by
greater minds than my own, which I welcome; but
until then I am the unwilling holder of a monopoly
on giving such women actual constructive help.
This book turned out to not only be a therapeutic
exercise for me, but also be of genuine value for
its intended audience. Look here
for further information about it.
Buy the book in paper form here
or in no-DRM Kindle download form here